According to the Happiness Report, India lies at 133rd position in 2018 down falling to 140th in 2019, out of 156 countries. Whereas we have doubled GDP in the last two decades. Many of us believe that money is the primary source of happiness, but the records refute it, showing us the different side of the story altogether,
Even with my experiences in life so far I have realised money solely cannot guarantee us happiness.
Earlier, I used to believe that you can have everything if you have money because most of the fights I have seen in families were due to property and money. But as I grew older, I realized that money is just a means to fulfil over needs and desires, not our actual needs. One of my best friends always say “पैसा एक साधन है, साध्य नहीं” and now I believe she was right.
I realize that the main reason for unhappiness is that we have shifted our aim from having money for our fulfilment to only having more and more money, we believe that money is our purpose, we don’t even know why we need money. Since money is just a way to get something not a thing to get. In the run to get more and more money, we are losing our self. We compromise with hobbies, spend less time with families to earn more.
“Don’t think money does everything or you are going to end up doing everything for money.” ― Voltaire
Let’s understand this with an example, in childhood playing with a ball was the happiest thing to do and if we needed to buy a ball, we would ask our parents for money for the ball, we were happy with the fact that we have ball because our main goal is to play with the ball and not buying it and that makes us happy.
But suppose you are in the market, where you can get anything, instead of which you will have to work there. You will get a ball by arranging 100 books in the library, then in the next stall, you can get a bat by arranging 500 books and so on.
Now, your goal will be to get the maximum ball for the future and not to buy the ball to play and that is the trap. You never get time to play with those balls which you are earning from arranging the book.
Always remember why you are arranging the book, this is not your aim this is just a way to get your aim, you aim to get the ball because you have to play with it. Therefore make time between arranging the book; And play with the ball, because that makes you happy.
“Making money isn’t hard in itself… What’s hard is to earn it doing something worth devoting one’s life too.” ― Carlos Ruiz Zafón
Another main problem of unhappiness is the comparison of lives. Many of us think that God didn’t fair to them and they don’t have enough, they deserve a better life.
They always compare their lives with others and that make themselves sad. This happens with most of the people around us, from childhood to death we compare our house to a school friend’s house, our percentage with college friend’s percentage, our salary with friends’ salaries and our child with the friend’s child, this is endless. You can never be the first. There is always someone on top of you. If you want to compare with someone, compared with yourself.
My golden rule is, always compare your yesterday with today and try to make tomorrow. In childhood, I read a lot of stories, as everyone would have done, but one story I will never forget was that of rabbits. One day all rabbits of forest think that they are nothing, anyone can kill them, they can not control anyone, their life is just useless. God created them by mistake and they decide to commit suicide.
They all go to the banks of the river, suddenly the frogs see them and jump into the water. Then all the rabbits learn that someone is afraid of them too. They realised their life has also meaning, they thank God and cancel the program of suicide. This story always tells me that
“The life I have is the dream of millions”.
Always love your life and live happy because after all, it’s all about happiness.“Life is a gift worship it”
The next problem, I see a bad relationship for unhappiness in society. For those who are unmarried, there are concerns all the time about their partner’s loyalty. They also worry about family permissions because still inter-caste marriage is a big problem in our society. There is a big problem for people who are married because we believe that marriage is for 7 births. Even if you are not happy in this life, you still have to live together. We are so busy in our daily life that we forget to take time for our partner and this difference gets bigger and bigger day by day. This is the most serious problem in our society.
I think that if you are not happy with your partner, then get out of the relationship as soon as possible because it is getting worse day by day for both of you. And if you love each other seriously, always make them feel happy. Each day is important as an event, so celebrate it and make them feel how important you are to them and you are happy with them.
If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you.” — A. A. Milne
I have some friends who love each other so badly but they fight frequently over silly things, I notice the main problem is, they tell everyone that what their partner did for them but they never tell these things to each other, they hardly praise each other.
So to be happy with them always make them feel, what they have done for you and you must appreciate their sacrifices. Nothing is more important than your partner, nothing. Nor your office meeting nor cricket match nor your friend drink party. Your partner is half your life. If they are not happy then you can never be happy. Keep them happy it will make you happy
Another reason is our most time zone. Yes, in our field of work, our happiness or sorrow plays an important role. A colleague of mine said in his farewell that “he spends more time with a colleague than his wife”. It’s quite funny but it’s true. We spend most of the time on our work with colleagues. Therefore it’s more important to be satisfied with your job and the team. If you are not comfortable with them you can’t be happy in your life. A Quote of Steve Jobs, I love to follow from my childhood says the same,
“Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it.”
Always do what you like to do. Many of you will say that not everyone gets the job they like to do because there are family financial problems, then how can they be happy? But if you read the quote again, you realize that your answer is in it, he says “keep looking until you find it” and that inspires you to find that work which you love to do. Motivation always gives you hope that you will get your loved job one day and that gives you joy every day. The main important point is happiness as I said earlier that playing with the ball brings happiness and not buying the ball.
“Working hard for something we don’t care about is called stress: Working hard for something we love is called passion.” ― Simon Sine
In the end, I conclude that, If you look around yourself you will find that you are full of happiness and sadness too. It’s your choice of what you are looking for and what you want to feel.
Keep smiling 🙂 be happy😊